After You
by fxkmattyhealy
Summary: Hermione Granger obiliviated Draco Malfoy 10 years ago, he can't recognise her and his own blood when he sees them in Muggle London one day, but he is determined to let the story unfold to find out what happened.
1. after you.

**[ e p i g r a p h ] **

"Do you think I have seen you somewhere, miss?" Draco asked tentatively.

"I'm afraid you're mistaken." Hermione chuckled sadly, wiping a stray tear.


	2. 1 loving you

5th June, 2008.

The sky was turning gray, thick blankets of smoke and dust covered the thin air, just then, Hermione predicted it would rain. With a heavy sigh, she closed her Hogwarts yearbook, making sure to place it back in her sacred cupboard where her little infant wasn't allowed. It was the only thing she had to keep safe from the little girl, and about now, she had down an okay job in not letting her get to it despite her futile attempts.

Everyday would begin like this - Hermione would take out her school yearbook, trace her fingers over two moving pictures only in the entire lot of students, first would be her own, and the second would be of that one familiar platinum blond haired boy who, after all these years, she still hadn't forgotten, not even a single detail of his; the time they had shared together, in love, in each other's arms.

Each and every memory of the love they had shared was still vivid in her brain, like a fresh memory just experienced.

She would cry, close the yearbook and head over to her infant to start the day with the only family she had left. Though at 10 years of age, Demetria Jean Granger was as mature as any sane adult- she'd take great interest in Muggle studies as well as magic, though her mother forbid her to go anywhere near magic. This was the same reason Hermione had decided to send her to a Muggle school rather than hogwarts, even after it was rebuilt after the war, she didn't feel safe to send her only daughter there. Yes, it was the safest place one could ask for but Hermione had lost too much, even before the actual battle had begun, she had lost the boy she had loved, lost her friends and even more than she actually tried to think of.

And today was his birthday.

Demetria was an extraordinary child, she was gifted, that much Hermione could tell, she had inherited her brains and also that of her father's, knowing that he was no loser back in their school times.

"Demi, you need to get out of bed sweetheart, I know it's Sunday but you hav-" Hermione pulled the blanket from her body, revealing a sleepy child, her blond and slightly wavy hair with charcoal gray eyes portrayed an absolute image of her genes, you could ask someone in the streets here and there and even they'd know the exact roots of her family, that's how influential they had been before the war, now, it was a mere name treated with utter disrespect and disgust.

Everyone knew how the Malfoy family had joined the Dark Lord's army of deatheaters, how that they had been defeated, every deatheater was caught and locked up in Azkaban, probably for the best, wondered Hermione.

It was odd, a name that was once so powerful now, being completely treated like dirt under one's shoes.

"Demi, you need to get up right this instant," sometimes Hermione forgot that she had become a mother now, while motherhood held its joys, it also held a great deal of patience and work. Seeing Demi happy was without a doubt, the only thing that kept Hermione going. She was a young mother, still 28, thanks to having a child at the early age of 18, so everyday was equally as surreal to Demi as it was to Hermione.

"If I get up right now, will you show me that yearbook you so secretly hide in your closet?" Demi peeked from under the blanket (after she had snatched it back from her mother) at hermione.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Nice try sweetheart, let me think," she pretended to be submerged in deep thoughts with a finger under her chin, "No."

"But mum-" the little girl was quick to stand to her feet, completely forgetting that her mother hated it when she stood on the bed. In her words it made the bedding look wild.

As her eyes fell on the seething woman in front of her, she gulped before stepping down, eyes never leaving. "Please?" Demi tried one last time but she already knew the answer, it would be a plain no, just like it had always been, just like it had been for the last five years when the little girl had observed her mother crying day and night because of a school yearbook, she wanted to see this book for herself and figure out what had been bothering her mum- so she could burn down the stupid book if she had to, only to make her mother stop crying.

"Please don't make me say it again, Demi." Hermione sighed, she pushed her wavy curls behind her ears but they eventually fell out of place, instead, framing her beautiful face in small ringlets.

When Demi's face fell in disappointment, Hermione was quick to press a kiss to her daughter's head, she craddled her small frame in her arms like any mother would, murmuring sweet nothings in her ear as her shoulders shook softly while she cried. "I promise, love." Hermione had told her with a teary eyes, "One day, I promise."

5th June, 1994.

"I can't believe it, third year has come to an end." Draco hummed softly in Hermione's ear. In response, she only stirred, scooting closer to the boy who had just told her how beautiful she looked under the starry night sky. She nodded in response, only to realise, Draco couldn't see it because his eyes, were in fact also, fixed on the starry sky blanket above them.

"Yeah, I can't believe it either." she muttered softly.

Silence.

"I must say, this is the best birthday I have ever had, all thanks to you." Hermione saw him smile shyly before leaning over to her and kissing her on her bare shoulder. The strap of the dress she wore had gone down quite significantly but she didn't mind, not when it was him. They were at the astronomy tower, on their backs, looking at the starry mess in the sky. Draco counted the stars and at some point, the number of freckles that dotted Hermione's face, he didn't know which one was more in beautiful.

It was past curfew but it was the last thing that concerned the both of them.

Right now, they were intent on exploring the universe in each other's eyes. Draco had cupped her in his cold hands, barely brushing his lips again her's when she had immediately pulled him by the collar of his shirt. Draco knew he was desperate to kiss her but he never knew that she was equally as desperate. Draco let his hands wander under her shirt, only to stop at the skin on her stomach, he respected the boundary she had set and didn't want to ruin the moment. As he continued to rub smooth circle on her velvety skin, she sighed into his mouth, "I love you, Draco." she had told him right after their first kiss, to hell if that was considered 'too early' she just couldn't care any less. With Hermione's fingers threading into his soft blind hair, and his fingers on her skin, he felt at an utter loss for words- the girl he was in love with, loved him back and right now, it was the best thing in his entire universe, the moment he had been his happiest.

"I love you too, Granger." he had whispered against her lips before kissing her again, tomorrow morning, neither of them could remember how many times had they kissed under the starry sky last night and that was about as perfect as it got.

Hermione felt the familiar tears pricking her eyes at the memory of their first kiss but she didn't let them fall, she was stronger than before, or at least, she liked to think so. For the sake of her daughter, she had to put on a fierce mask of invulnerability to showcase just how strong and independent she was- one of the few things she had learnt after he had left.

"Mum, where are we going?" Hermione watched Demi come up to her, wiping her mother's eyes with her shirt's sleeves to wipe off any nonexistent tear. Her eyes wandered to her mother standing before her in a blue long sleeved sweater and cigarette pants that reached just down her knees.

"You're not going anywhere, mommy is just going to get something from the coffee shop around the corner, I promised you donuts, I remember." she let out a sound of defeat, knowing that she had lost a bet to a ten year old on who would win the race to bed, clearly, it was a very bad idea given that you say the reward will be donuts.

"Ooooo, I remember! Mommy lost and Demi won!" sometimes, she referred to herself by name, Hermione thought it was the cutest thing in the world, honestly.

"So who's going to look after me?" Demo twisted her face in a frown, almost immediately, her puppy dog eyes making a full effort of wooing her mother.

"No, no, no, no, don't you dare give me those puppy eyes, Demetria Jean Gran-" and then she sighed, massaging her temples as she closed her eyes for a moment. "Who am I kidding, I can't say no to that. Fine, you can come with me." Demi was as fast as lightning, in an instant, she had her shoes on and a scarf ready to tackle the cold winter air.

When Hermione looked at her in confusion, Demi thought it was because of one major thing- so did what any wise person would, run and get an umbrella.

"All done, mommy!" she hollered, grasping her hand in her own small one, she led them to the door of the small apartment they shared. "Let's go! Donuts here we come!" when they got out, Hermione realised that it wasn't raining, yet, she didn't ask her little girl to put the thing away she had so safely carried to tackle the rain.

They were waking so fast in the streets of Muggle London that Hermione didn't even realise when Demi was sent flying forward when she lost her footing. Terrified beyond measure, Hermione had screamed her daughter's name until she saw a familiar set of platinum blond hair and the body of the man she had once loved, her daughter stumble into.

He quickly caught the girl before she made contact with the ground, his arms possessively wrapping around her body as if he was shielding his own blood from an unfathomable fate.

Hermione watched in utter disbelief as Draco Malfoy cooed her daughter in his arms, his daughter, their daughter, shushing her from the impact of loose footing. Hermione forced herself to move in their direction, her eyes still not believing what she was seeing.

Demi had her arms tightly wrapped around his neck and as he picked her up and stood tall, Hermione realised how he had grown taller than...

That time.

"You're alright, nothing is going to happen to you." the rhythmic soothing of his voice brought Hermione back from her little bubble of daze. She reached forward, only to step back in fear of even if this was real or not.

"Demi." she forced herself to speak, on cue, Draco's familiar gray eyes snapped towards her, he still didn't let go of Demi in his arms.

"Is this your daughter? There you go," he set her down without waiting for an answer, it was unreal, the resemblance both of them held when they stood next to each other, it was almost sinful.

"Demi, are you alright?" Hermione ignored him, although the erratic beating of her heart clearly didn't. Demi nodded, wiping her face with the scarf she had on. She hugged her mother close and that was when Draco decided to look at Hermione closely.

"Thank you so much, for saving my daughter." eight words she told him felt like a stab to her gut, each being more painful than the last. All she wanted to do was run away right at this moment and never look back, so when she stepped away a little, a voice made her stop.

"Do you think I've seen you somewhere, miss?" Draco asked tentatively, he took a step in her direction just when Hermione took one back. He couldn't be wrong, he had seen this woman somewhere before.

But where.

"I'm afraid you're mistaken." she said, wiping a stary tear, her hand clutching Demi's tighter. "I should go, thank you, again." Hermione was about to leave when she heard a, "Wait!"

Hesitantly, she turned around, only to find him looking at her again.

Don't look at me like that Draco, I have tried my best to forget you, don't make this any harder for me than it already is, her inner voice spoke.

"I know I have seen you somewhere. Don't you remember me at al-" Draco was cut short, by a lady with raven black hair coming right behind him, she poked his shoulder to get his undivided attention. "Okay, I've done all my shopping bits, I'm so ready to go home, dear fiancé."

But Hermione couldn't take it anymore, one look at the engagement ring on her finger and a glance at her face was enough for her heart to completely crumble to pieces.

It was Astoria, and she was engaged to the man she loved.

Can this please get 30 votes for next chapter? Please leave your thoughts! I'd love to hear them!

Plus, this story will have a lot of flashbacks before Draco got obliviated, so basically, tolerate it.

LIKE, COMMENT AND SHARE


	3. 2 thinking of you

Just so you know, Draco isn't living a completely Muggle life, it's kind of a mix, just because he found himself in Muggle London doesn't mean he has adapted to them. Also, I'd like to point out that Hermione didn't obliviate Draco to the point where he'll forget all about his magic world and everything he has ever done, she merely wiped off her own memory from his brain. The rest shall be explained later. But for now, that's all you need to know, I'm sorry for any confusions. Feel free to ask any other thing you want.

The thoughts that had followed were nothing short of bizzare. Hermione had gotten a headache the moment she had closed the door to her apartment, gingerly dragging along Demi with her inside the safe place of her small apartment. Her breaths had been laboured, beads of sweat trickling down her temple, her lips quivering.

It was terrifying what a single person's presence could do to you, especially if you had just seem them with your naked eye.

"Mum, why are you—" but Demi never got to finish her sentence, Hermione was already dragging her to her room, tears streaming down her face. The terrified look on Demi's face spoke volumes about how scared she was at that one moment when she glanced at her mother. Her big eyes were wide and curious, even some tear drops dotting her waterline. Sensing that Hermione's obvious discomfort was the reason to this, she plastered on a fake smile for the sake of her daughter and wiped the back of her hand on her eyes.

"Sweetie," she crouched down to meet her daughter at eye level. The thunder roared loudly in the background making both the girls flinch but that was only momentary. Soon, both of them were staring into each other's eyes, as if trying to silently say, "I need you to stay strong, it's going to be okay."

"I want you to—" her voice broke, but she didn't care, this had been too much to take in, it still was. Seeing his face after ten years had made her stomach do somersaults because of the sudden contact; guaranteed, seeing someone who held your heart for all these years, even for a fraction of a minute of looking at their eyes did wonders to your body, especially the heart. Hermione could still feel her heart thumping loudly against her ribcage.

Was anything ever going to be normal after this?

She felt incredibly sad at the same moment, knowing that he won't ever rememeber who she was and what she meant to him, knowing that he'll never know much they had loved each other, before and during the war.

After the war was a completely different story, a story that she never wanted to relive again.

It was then when the world has conspired against her and snatched everything from her in the blink of an eye, snatched the man she loved, the friends she made, the family she had shared without the relation of blood, everything was gone.

It had been those circimstances, she reminded herself, regretted, that made her obliviate the love of her life then and there.

The sound of soft cries snapped her back to reality. Demi was crying as her shoulders shook violently. It drove Hermione insane that she couldn't console her daughter in that moment because she, herself had been an utter mess.

"Sweetie, I need you to sleep early tonight," Hermione's voice shook. "I need you to go to your room and— and,"

Demi caught up on her mother's discomfort. "Okay, mum."

And she had padded over to her room while her mother shut herself in her tiny room of four pale walls

That was what was so special about Demetria Jean Granger; she had an incredible gift of feeling the other person's emotions before they could say anything, it had come as natural instinct, quite possibly from Draco, Hermione wondered aloud in her mind.

During their years at Hogwarts, even before they had started dating, (more like secretly started seeing each other) Hermione had known Draco Malfoy as a big bully who fed on others' fears and insecurities to boost his already huge ego, one of the very victims had been her own self. She did, however, notice how he'd always have an ideal judgement of his surroundings; he'd always know who was watching him and who was thinking what, it had been a Malfoy instinct, Hermione had concluded in the later years when she had asked Draco herself. She had asked him how he could be so stoic after knowing what everyone was thinking and plotting against him. He had laughed at her words until his eye crinkled at the corners and his stomach hurt.

Then, ever so gently, he had stroked her cheek with his slender index finger, saying the words she remembered till this date.

"It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply."

Hermione opened her bedside drawer, removing several books to reach a secret compartment under the debris. With a tear-stricken face, she looked at the object before her with great intent and contemplation. Almost instantly, her breathing became laboured, making her close her eyes the overcome the sudden pang of pain in her heart.

There lied her wand.

The same thing that had helped her obliviate her lover all those years back, ever since that incident, she had tucked away the god-forsaken item in the sanctuary of her secret drawer, vowing to never use it again; she refused to use the thing that had made her life so miserable, tore her off all her happiness and given her nothing but grief and sadness.

But now, things were different.

She had seen Draco in the streets of Muggle London, he was engaged, he didn't know about his own daughter, about her and—

It was too much to bear.

Tears pricked her eyes as she grasped the wooden article in her trembling hands, feeling her skin prick already.

She had given up magic long ago but now, now it was an excuse, an excuse to shut out everything she had endured today.

"Muffliato." she muttered.

And then, she screamed, she screamed until her lungs gave out, until her vanity mirror had been smashed to tiny pieces, a visual representation of her heart at that moment, until her vocals chords gave up on her.

Until she drowned the memory of Draco Malfoy, only to realise that she couldn't.

She couldn't.

Because the ones we loved, stayed with us forever.

"Astoria, are you absolutely sure we've not seen that woman anywhere before?" Draco Malfoy, on the other side of Muggle London, growled at his fiancé who only kept her eyes on the excessive amounts of bags she bought from today's shopping spree.

The dark haired woman rolled her eyes, she clapped her hands together joyously for some bizzare reason, still refusing to answer the blond. In the snap of an eyes, a tiny house elf appeared before her.

"You're so useless," she rolled her eyes, "Take these bags to my room and ugh, do something about that awful stench in the kitchen, what did you burn now?" before anyone could comprehend what was happening, Astoria had already pushed the tiny house elf with her right foot, waving a dismissive hand vaguely as if she had more important things to care about.

"You know that's very rude, Astoria. Even for the likes of you." Draco commented softly, he didn't want to say anything that would rile up the woman and start another pointless argument with her. Lord new how difficult it was to talk to her and make her understand something.

Astoria's cold eyes snapped at him, "They're filth, Draco that's precisely why we must treat them that way." Draco urged to smack some sense into her, as odd as that seemed. "And you're saying it like you treated them any better in the past."

That made him purse his lips in a thin line.

His gray eyes watched Astoria stroll outside the room they shared until she waw out of sight.

The past.

It had always seemed like a dark place to the lad.

It had been a difficult topic to breach for him, a very difficult and painful one.

It was painful because he couldn't remember almost ten years of his life, but it was worse, he thought that he remembered those ten years just some specific, very specific details and events had been completely erased from his mind. Sometimes, it seemed absurd to even ponder upon such an unrealistic idea but something, just something made him want to dig back into his brain and extract the remnants of his memories so he could know; what had happened to him.

But it was too torturous, digging into a grave of forgotten promises and memories made his head spin, a thriving headache would form in his head, almost immediately pulling him back to the present reality; because of this one factor, he had been unable to do something about this. The pain was unbearable of he tried to trigger his memory, but then again it could be something stupid because he didn't know for absolute sure that something had happened to him in the past. He remembered all his fellow class mates from his time in Hogwarts, but somehow, he failed to realise how did this all make sense?

How did he not take part in the great battle of Hogwarts and was pardoned without joining either sides? What explained that he had felt like a fish out of water during the battle, like he didn't belong here, like he had no clue how did he end up here? How was he the only one who managed to escape while everyone else, including his parents, died?

These were the questions that haunted him.

Yet, after giving up trying to trigger his memory for something, anything, he had felt the familiar pain sear through his nervous system today, today, when he caught that little girl in his arms and saved her from falling, it was only minute but it was there, he knew it. It wasn't until his eyes landed on that beautiful woman who had been her mother, that he felt his insides churn; the pain had skyrocketed and he felt dizzy, numb almost.

That had to be something, right? He wondered to himself, running a hand through his platinum blond locks, as he sat himself in a large armchair, his fingers massaging his aching temples at the mere thought of the two girls he had encountered today.

After I had tried to give up triggering anything, why did I feel the sensation again when my eyes opened to a stranger woman and her stranger child?

Question and more questions, yet, he had no answers.

But surely, he had a lead, didn't he?

A/N : hellllooooo guys! What's up? How's everyone? Did you all enjoy this one? I put my heart and soul into this one, so pelase leave a vote if you liked it and leave a review regardless. Love you all. xx


	4. 3 crying for you

**"Long nights, daydreams. With that sugar and smoke rings, always taste like you."**

**—Strawberries and Cigarettes by Troye Sivan **

It was unusually quiet today, Hermione noted as she set down her cup of tea on the coffee table and neatly folded the newspaper she held in her fragile fingers. She had decided to take the day off from her work at the school she taught, thinking that her slightly sick daughter needed her assistance and attention more than the school did. They could call in a substitute teacher for the children but there was no way Hermione could call in a substitute mother for Demi.

The quietness made her scalp itch, she had gotten use to the usual wave of laughter in the small house because of Demi, and now that she was sick, it made her weirdly uncomfortable.

It was like getting used to the beautiful ferris wheel at the funfair only to be told that you would never have to see it's lights again.

Hermione made her way to her daughter's room, finding her small body on the bed and a blanket up to her nose. "How are you feeling, baby?" she walked down towards her and sat at the edge of the bed, eyes visibly softening at the sight of her frail child.

"I've been better, mum." she huffed, it only reminded Hermione of Draco's wit— his charming ability to always have a witty retort for whatever was thrown in his direction. No wonder she got that from him, Hermione thought.

"When can I go outside and play?" a small voice made its way to Hermione's ears, instantly making her sigh.

"Soon, you'll be able to go out and play soon, okay?" she gave her a weak smile, bending over to kiss the top of her head. "Till then, I want you to rest, mommy loves you Demi, always remember that. The blonde girl grinned like a kid with candy on Halloween.

"Always." she repeated and set a hand on her heart, "Love you too."

Hermione took her precious time admiring her face before she was up on her feet. "Okay then, I have to go outside, I need to get your medicine, we're all out now." Hermione knew that a simple swish of her wand would make Demi perfect again but she didn't want to rely on magic anymore— even if that concerned her own child. She had breached her rules enough already when she had cast that silencing charm on the room the other day, she didn't want to depend too much on it.

As cowardly as it sounded, she just didn't want to rely on magic any longer. It had been one of the prime reasons why she had left the Wizarding world for good the first time.

"Can I come with you?" Hermione regarded the girl with a familiar motherly gleam in her eyes. Her heart softening at the nearly quiet voice she spoke in. She thought about it for a moment and then sighed. "Okay, fin-" but the little girl was already on her feet, her mother chasing her around the room, yelling at her to put on a hefty amount of extra clothes just in case.

The after shock of seeing Draco in Muggle London felt more like a dream and less like a scary truth, she was finally doing what she was best at— coping without him.

**\--**

"Why do I have to eat this mommy? It's," Demi's face twisted in utter disgust, "YUCK!" She wiped the back of her hand on her tongue just when Hermione sighed, she looked at the nurse in front of her who passed a small smile.

"If you don't eat it, you won't be healthy like before." the woman in all white tried to reason with the little girl who kept on pulling disgusting faces at both the older women. When she finally felt the bad taste subisidise, Demi grabbed her mother's hand was pulling her out the small pharmacy's door. When they had reached the pharmacy earlier, Demi had insisted on trying the medication then and there, Hermione had passed her a death glare but the polite nurse had told her that it was no trouble and probably for the best that Demi got accustomed to the horrible taste of it beforehand so she'd know what to expect the next time she takes it.

The idea seemed very stupid to Hermione but she kept her mouth closed. She could say that the poor nurse was just trying to put up with Demi and her stubbornness in the kindest manner, for that, she couldn't help but thank her over and over again.

Once outside, Hermione put her hands to her hips, "That's very rude Demetria, you were being very stubborn with that woman, it's a miracle I didn't yell at you in there." The little girl regarded her with those big grey eyes of her's.

"I'm sorry, mommy," her eyes didn't meet her own ones, instead, they remained fixated on the ground below. Despite her feeling sorry, Hermione wasn't done with her daughter.

"That doesn't mean th—"

"You're being a little too harsh on her, don't you think?" Hermione stilled, the voice at the back of her head told her to never turn around for she'd break when she'd see him. Her heart was surely beating at an abnormal pace and her palms were sweating.

Even then, she didn't dare to turn around.

"See? Even the kind man from that day thinks so," Demi was the one who broke the awkward silence. At that, draco let out a throaty chuckle. In almost a second, she was off, walking towards him.

Hermione almost gasped, she hadn't heard him chuckle in more than ten years, now, it sounded like music to her ears.

Melodious and effervescent.

"I'm sorry, did I make you uncom—" He was speaking again but she wasn't listening, Hermione closed her eyes and relished the few last moments of his voice from a distance before finally turning around, coming face to face with none other than Draco Malfoy who looked so more handsome than the last time she had seen him, if that was even possible considering that he looked like a Greek God already. Her eyes instantly met his and then, he flashed a small smile in her direction.

"Hi." his voice was calm, steady, anything but Hermione was feeling right now. Torrents of frenzy were running in her veins right now and didn't even try to deny the fact that how strongly she still felt towards him, even after all these years.

Even in something as simple as a green button down and blue jeans, Draco Malfoy still looked charming as ever, just the way he did back in their Hogwarts years.

The only difference was that in Hogwarts, he never quite wore that magnificent smile he was wearing right now.

"Mum?" Demi was a spitting image of Draco who stood right next to her, it was almost sinful— to be this much identical. "The kind man from that day said hi and you're not even-"

Draco interrupted her, leaning down a little to see her eye to eye, "My name is Draco,"

Demi regarded bus words carefully for a second before she turned to bed mother again. "Draco said hi mum and you're not even replying!" she threw her hands up in bewilderment, the whole scene however, seemed very amusing to Draco.

"Is she quite alright?" Draco looked worriedly at Demi.

"I am fine." Hermione finally spoke up, her skin burning. She looked right into Draco's eyes, "Thank you."

Hermione didn't miss the raise if his eyebrows when she spoke, clearly, something had triggered his memory just about now, Hermione wondered if it was the sound of her voice, the familiarity it possessed to him.

Draco regarded her with amusement, his gray eyes flickering every so oftenly over Hermione, taking in her honey skin and wavy brown curls.

To Draco, it was inappropriate to jump to conclusions about right away, and that meant after one meeting in this case, but he knew it already— the kind of beauty and grandeur the woman before him possessed, Astoria didn't even come near it.

And it was odd, comparing a stranger to your fiancé but it had never felt to right to Draco, never before.

"We should be going home, come on Demi," Hermione was clearly tensed, given her squared shoulders and the way she avoided eye contact with the blond in front of her. It was rude, she knew, but she avoided his gaze and even talking to him, even when he had been nothing but polite to them. Hermione moved forward to grab onto her daughter's hand but Demi was quick to giggle and hide behind Draco was looked more amused than ever, she heard him click he tongue and then, he had his hand on Demi's head, angling it upfront so she could see her mother clearly, "That's not a very nice thing to do to your mother, you know." his voice was oddly comforting, not only to Hermione but to Demi too, considering that she instantly nodded her head and latched onto her mother's hand.

Before Hermione could take her away, she felt his familiar voice say again, "You know, you never answered that question of mine that day." he stepped a little forward, folding his arms behind him. Not wanting to step into her personal space; Draco made sure to put a reasonable distance between the adults, the little girl casually lingering in between them.

"Which one?" To say that he was shocked would be an understatement, shocked that not only did Hermione directly talk to him for the first time since they met but also matched his gaze as she spoke.

A sharp ran through his head but was gone as quick as it had come, Draco took that as a sign that he was right about this woman, he had seen her somewhere before, quite possibly even known her for a handful amount of years, too.

"The one about you seeing me somewhere before." His voice was cool, but his body temperature was rising minute by minute, it was the epiphany of knowing that he was indeed right and that this woman in front of her, beautiful and quite possibly very smart too, was someone he had known, maybe someone he had been very close too.

But why wasn't she confirming his ready confirmed thoughts? If she knew him, which he was certain she did, why wasn't she saying so?

"I told you," her rushed voice brought him out of his little train of fantasy. Draco watched her tuck a plan brown curl behind her ear shyly and he wished, more than anything else, to do it instead, yet, he didn't, knowing that his brain was giving him the inappropriate signal but would it make more sense if he said that his heart said the complete opposite?

Yes, he wondered.

"You're mistaken. I've not seen you before." He noted how her voice quivered at the end, like what she was saying was complete BS, yet he complied, nodding his head at her.

He already had his answer.

"Can I play with Draco a little?" this time, it was equally uncomfortable for Hermione as it was for Draco, the only difference was that Hermione decided to show it and Draco didn't, he merely smoked at the little girl, tucking a hand in his pocket.

"Demetria, why are you acting this way?" Now, Hermione was ready to throw a fit. Demi had been extremely difficult all this day and she had no idea what had happened to her, why she was acting this stubborn. It was so unlike her and Hermione was about ready to slap her which was the last thing she wanted. "You're being so stubborn! You never act this way! " By now, she didn't care how loud she sounded, or that Draco was watching them, "You—"

"Hey, hey, hey," Draco was crouching down and Hermione couldn't see why, his broad frame was blocking her view as she tried to a desperate glance. When she moved around a little to the left, her hand moved to her mouth, covering it. Draco was cooing a Demi in his arms as he stood/sat in an awakard position, her head was resting on his shoulder while he softly threaded his fingers through her hair.

Such a fatherly instinct, Hermione nearly gasped.

She wanted to yell at Draco to leave her alone with her daughter but she just couldn't, it seemed wrong, she was, after all, his daughter too, but he just didn't know it yet.

Demi's shoulders shook softly as she soaked Draco's shirt. Hermione mumbled a quick sorry but Draco brushed it off, not even meeting her gaze.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—" Hermione felt guilt rising up to her heart, it was unbearable, knowing that she had hurt one of the two people she had truly loved, one being Demi and the other being the man before her.

But she had hurt him too, hadn't she?

But the little girl already had thrown herself on her mother, her tears drying out with every pat Hermione made on her hair, and every kiss she pressed to her skin. The only thing that made Hermione look aheas was Draco, he was there, smiling at the two girls in front of him. His shirt was soaked, and it made her feel guilty.

What was even more shocking was that whilst Demi clung onto Hermione, she still had her right hand's small fingers wrapped tightly around Draco who was crouched.

Hermione looked at him and he, at her. The words seemed to die right in her throat, whatever she had wanted to speak had been thrown out of the window then and there. It was like Demi was the glue that kept two parallel lines, Draco and Hermione, joined together.

"Can he still play with me?" Demi said softly, after all that fiasco, she didn't want to make her anymore upset but she didn't have a choice.

"I'm sure Mister Malfoy has a lot of stuff to do then play around with you." Hermione stood up and grabbed Demi's hand. She was about to leave with a sad Demi when Draco finally spoke up, mirroring the shock in his mind.

"What did you just say?" He was walking towards her, his palms sweating.

"I said..." Hermione trailed, "That you have a lot of stu—" But Draco made a dismissive hand gesture, a triumphant smile on his face.

Hermione looked confused, not quite catching up to what he was saying. Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she continued to gaze into Draco's stormy gray eyes for an answer.

"How do you know that?" Dra I was almost out of breath, he couldn't believe that she had finally let something slip from her mouth. "How did you know that my surname is Malfoy?"

And that was it, Hermione's eyes widened and her mouth formed a perfect "o". It was only then she realised the information she had let slip in front of him.

Draco had never told them his surname.

And it only made his head spin that she was lying to him on purpose, that was what he found most intriguing, the answer to this why.

Draco looked at Hermione for something, anything but when she didn't speak against him, he only grinned more.

Minutes passed by and finally, Draco decided to talk, "Hi, I'm Draco, Draco Malfoy."

Hermione wanted to smack herself when he said those words, now he knew that she was lying on purpose and now, he'd be more interested into finding out why was she doing that.

She looked at his outstretched hand and sighed, giving up and lifting her arm to shake his. In an instant, his hand was clasped warmly around her own, like it was meant to be there, like it belonged there, in his own hand.

"Hermione Granger." she sucked in a breath when he didn't leave her hand, his fingers trailing along her skin for a moment longer than necessary.

She had a feeling at the back of her head that she'd be seeing him more often now, but what she couldn't decide on was that if it was a bliss or a misery?

Or maybe it was both, who knew until things played out.

\--

**Hiiii! I'm back! No I'm not dead. I'll be focusing more towards QKC after this, so bear with me!**

**PLEASE LEAVE AN HONEST REVIEW AND VOTE, PRETTY PLEASE!**

**I know it may seem a little too slow but I'm telling you, this whole is the foundation of the plot! Which, btw, I'm sure you'll absolutely love. I'm not giving up on this story, I will Continue it simultaneously with QKC.**

Love you all, byeee. x


	5. 4 yearning for you

**"This is our last dance."**

**—Under Pressure by Queen David Bowie. **

Hermione could not help but think what had she gotten herself into. She wanted to repeatedly bang her head against the cream walls of her room just by thinking of her earlier slipup that day. It had been almost a week since she made an utter fool of herself in front of Draco.

Speaking of who, how did he manage to pop up every place she went was a complete mystery to her, first in the middle of the streets of muggle London and then at the pharmacy- who knew where else was he going to show up his handsome face. _She was doing it again, _Hermione groaned as she put a hand to her aching temples, she was thinking about him again no matter how much she had suppressed it few days prior.

Life had its mischievous ways of getting back at you, she realized. No matter how hard she had tried to forget him, it never happened. Whether he was just a figment of our imagination or a part of her horrid reality for the past ten years, he was still here, after all this time.

Draco would have a ton of questions for her, she knew that much. He had always been too cunning for his own good, too unpredictable. . It was only plausible; if she had had her memory wiped clean, causing her to forget almost ten years of her life, she knew that she would have questions too, she'd also be hungry for anything she could get as a source to trigger her memory into believing who she was and what she had been. If she were to be in his shoes, she would have caused a complete havoc into finding out everything she could- it was only fair that she gave Draco his rightful chance to do the same.

Though they had exchanged good greetings and names that day outside the pharmacy, she knew he had a desired hunger for more information maybe that was why he had asked her to tea next week, today to be precise. Hermione scoffed, _of course that is why he wants to meet you for tea, you daft idiot._

But there was one thing still bothering her. Well, one of the many. After ten years even, how had he known that she liked tea and despised coffee with a strong dislike.

_Maybe she was just looking too much into things_. Hermione shook her head again, sighing.

It was just a lucky guess, she told herself looking at the mirror. She gave a twirl of her outfit consisting of black jeans and a snuggly mint green sweater with her hair tied back in a messy bun, her stray curls framing her face.

_Do I put myself through the misery of putting on makeup? _

Hermione bit her lip. This was so difficult. He had asked her for tea, not to bloody dinner. Why was she even bothering with putting on something nice? She reminded herself that it was because she wanted to look nice for herself and cast a good first _formal_ expression but a nagging voice told her that she doing this to impress the man she loved.

_To look beautiful not only for herself but for him too_, she could work with that statement. It didn't contradict with the feminist inside of her.

"Well, a little lip gloss would never hurt..." she danced her fingers hesitantly towards the dresser, picking up the clear liquid tube. Hermione had no idea why she was acting this way as if someone was looking at her but here she was, opening the tube quickly, carefully smearing the creamy liquid over her lips and throwing the thing back in the drawer like a thief afraid to be caught.

She looked over to the mirror and smiled slightly- it was like the school girl inside her had decided to take over her body. It was Hogwarts all over again, her trying dress up a little nicer and putting an effort into her hair by letting it down and taming her wild curls with Merlin knew how many spells just so she could catch Draco's eye.

It was pathetic but she was just a teen, and maybe hormones did get out the best of you at that age.

"Mum, where are you going?" Demi's little voice brought her out of her little fantasy bubble. She looked over her shoulder not moving from her place in front of the mirror.

She gave the girl a gentle smile.

"I am going for tea, I'll be back soon, an hour and half at the most." She walked over to her daughter who kept rubbing her eyes as she had just woken up from her afternoon nap. "Luna will be over any moment now," Just as she finished her sentence, the bell to her apartment rang.

_Speak of the angel,_ Hermione thought. She walked over to the door in her sneakers and held it open for her friend to enter.

Luna Lovegood, at 28, still looked like a moon goddess. Her face held the same innocence it did when they were at Hogwarts. The only difference to add to her gleaming blue eyes and round angelic face was her short blonde hair. Apart from this, she looked exactly the same as she did all those years ago.

"Hi Luna," Hermione smiled, engulfing her friend in a hug. Over her shoulder, she saw a little toddler boy waving enthusiastically at her. "Hey Xen. Come on in you two." Luna smiled before grabbing her son's hand and walking him inside her humble abode. The little dark haired boy immediately went over to Demi, shyly smiling at the older girl.

"Hi Hermione," She spoke with a familiar gleam in her eyes. "You look pretty for your date." As always, Luna was blunt but Hermione understood that this was the way she was, dreamy. Hermione didn't bother to alter her statement but she did mumble a quick _thanks_.

Luna had been the only friend from Hogwarts she had kept contact with. Though it did become difficult later in the years when Luna got married to none other than Theodore Nott, shocking not only Hermione but countless others of Dumbledore's Army. Now, the couple had a six year old boy named after Luna's late father, Xenophilius. They too, had left the Wizarding world for good after the war and were happily living in north London.

She had to befriend Theo just for Luna's sake. She was glad he wasn't an annoying git anymore, while wasn't exactly rainbows and butterflies merry, he was better than before. No snarky comments about anything, no name calling, nothing. It was a completely new Theo Nott to her and everyone else.

As shocking as it may sound, she had grown to love Theo Nott as a brotherly figure in the ten years she had _actually_ known him.

Time made you do strange things, it made you love your enemies.

The absence of Ron and Harry from her life really took a big toll on her, look who she ended up referring to as a brotherly figure. If someone had told her she'd go to Theo Nott for advice at some point of her life, she would have laughed in their face before hexing them into oblivion.

And now,

The idea of Theo asking her questions about Draco seemed only plausible, given that they had been friends at some point but he never said anything, Hermione suspected that he didn't want to pry into her business (again, a shocker, considering Theo Nott had been the most insufferable person at Hogwarts after Draco).

Maybe Luna had just told him not to, that seemed more accurate.

Or maybe he respected Hermione more than she thought he did.

The only reason Theo was still breathing and in one piece was because he had decided to switch sides at the very last moment during the war, Luna had a major role to play through that. While Hermione didn't want to give him too much credit, she was genuinely surprised and couldn't help but feel extremely happy at the sight of someone as stubborn as Theo Nott changing sides during battle just because of love.

He never asked about Draco, according to everyone, Draco had died in the war, that was what Hermione had preached, saying that she had been the one to kill him when he had advanced towards her with the killing curse right at the tip of his tongue.

It was the only way.

She had to do it, make everyone believe that he was dead so he could walk away and never look back, at her or this life he left behind.

"Theo got held by work, he'll come soon, I hope you'll be done by the time so we can leave with him." Luna commented, eyeing the woman before her with dreamy eyes.

"Yes, I will be." Hermione sighed. "Thank you again Luna, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll do perfectly fine on your own," Luna grinned, not realising that it was a rhetorical question. "You're Hermione Granger, brightest witch of our age." she gave her friend a pat on the shoulder before disappearing inside the small apartment, loud cheers of children followed shortly.

"I've left that life behind, Luna." Hermione said to the door where Luna had just disappeared to. "That's not me anymore."

**\--**

Draco wipped his hands on the napkin for the seventh time since he had been sitting here, in this coffee shop. If he thought that he looked like a mess on the outside, they sure as hell hadn't had a peek inside- his heart was thumping loudly against his ribcage and warm fuzzy feeling was making his head dizzy.

_Was this normal? _

In order to distract himself, he fiddled with the buttons on his black shirt, rolling the sleeves over to his elbows and then proceeding to roll them down. "Dammit!" He cussed, eyeing tye wrinkles forming on the fabric. He decided to let it be, it was going to the stay folded at his elbows for the rest of the noon.

Draco wanted answers, while he was sure it will take time with _Miss Granger, _he didn't want to push her too much. She might turn her back on him- something he couldn't afford after being submitted to the darkness for ten years now.

He was going to do this at her pace, however she felt comfortable.

_But what if she doesn't want to see you again?_

_Again_? Draco wondered, _did he want to see her again? Of course. But would she want to see him again? Highly unlikely,_ given the manner she had treated him with during their earlier two encounters- outright refusing to even look at him in the eye and lying about not knowing him when she did know him all this time. He thanked God for her epic slip up right outside the pharmacy.

Draco had just happened to pass by the place while he was hunting for Astoria, God knows where that woman was- she let shopping get the best of her. No matter how much he emphasised that she already had everything in the world, her hunger for new articles of clothing and jewelry never simmered down.

It was safe to say that Astoria threw a fit when he reached home hours later, finding his fiancé ready to kill him as to where he had been all this time? Plus, why had he left her alone in the first place? When Draco only smiled, she had huffed and gone to bed, throwing her arms in the air.

What she didn't know was that the smile wasn't an apology for her, it was because he had finally found a name to put to the woman's beautiful face that had been plaguing his mind for ten years, now he had a name for her.

_Draco_ fidgeted in his seat at the sight before him- she was nearing him, closer, closer and closer.

Until, she finally stood before him, her hands awkwardly clasped in front of her and a crimson blush on her cheeks.

Draco parted his lips, if she didn't look so beautiful in this moment, he might have forced a word or two through his parched throat. "Hi."

One syllable, that was all she had said and he found himself captivated, entranced. All of a sudden, his manners kicked in and he stood up abruptly, knocking is knew against the table, he cussed silently at that. Gathering his shredded dignity, he stood up and breathed. "Hi, uh- I'm sorry about that." Draco mentioned vaguely to the commotion his leg had caused against the table.

He pulled out a seat for her in front of him, silently sending a prayer of thanks to god for getting a seat at the corner of the little shop.

The woman before him nodded before sitting down in front of him.

Hermione wanted to smack herself, she had gone overboard with all that makeup- starting from with what was supposed to be only lip gloss to mascara, blush, lip gloss and concealer in bare minimal amount. She couldn't decide if Draco was looking at her in total awe or absolute horror.

_Why had she taken this particular day to experiment with her long lost makeup, dear lord why? _

But his next statement cleared it for her. "You look...radiant." he hadn't called her beautiful like every other guy on the planet who meets a girl for the first time on a date, he had called her radiant. Hermione couldn't help but blush further at his words.

_But this wasn't a date and certainly not just some guy, this was Draco Malfoy for heaven's sake!_

"Uh, thank you." she looked away from his silver eyes, looking at everything but nothing in particular around the small cozy place. There wasn't much to see- simple creme walls and the outlay of a local diner, seemed pretty simple to her.

"Miss Granger," Draco's rapsy voice brought her out of her thoughts, "Are you uncomfortable here? We can always go somew-"

"No, no, I'm okay." she spoke all too soon, catching Draco smile a little and then trying to hide it. "It's Hermione, you know." She spoke in almost a whisper.

"What?" his eyebrows drew together.

"Call me Hermione, please."

"Hermione," he tested the word on his lips, amused at how better it sounded than saying his fiancé's name.

"I already ordered us both tea, I hope you don't mind, I'm guessing," Draco made a confused face, "Two slices of lemon in that." it wasn't a question, it was a statement. Hermione was dumbstruck, the fact that he knew she preffered tea over coffee was something she could live with being a wild guess, but this, this was something she couldn't.

"How did you know that?" Her voice was small but Draco heard her.

"Actually, I don't quite know. Just something at the back of my head told me it would be...right." Truth was he didn't have an explanation to anything— the tea, the two slices of lemon, heck, not even what he was doing here. Seeing Hermione had definitely triggered something at the back of his mind. While he believed that little Demi was the source of triggering his memories, he was very wrong, Draco realised that the moment he had seen Hermione that day— a vague scene in vignette had flashed across his mind before completely disappearing, out the window it went.

"**_You could stop that you know," Draco had told Hermione when they were in the room of requirement, happily wrapped up in each other's arms, watching the bewitched sky above them with great intent. _**

**_Hermione lifted her head a little, "Stop what?"_**

**_"Taking two lemon slices with your tea, I'm telling you, it's not normal." Draco had gestured vaguely to the small pitcher of tea next to the couple. While the aura of the room had changed from humid to cold, Heiome felt like having tea so Draco brought her some, groaning when she said the part about two lemon slices._**

**_"Oh hush, it's delightful. You should try it sometime. You won't hate it, I swear." on cue, Hermione had tangled her limbs from his and pushed the small pitcher towards him, "Try it, you won't die." She rolled her eyes when the blond pulled a disgusted face. "I promise extra kisses if you try it," the thought if it send shivers down his spine, he intently looked at his girlfriend for almost one year now and then at the cup before him._**

**_"You promise?" Hermione nodded at his words, enthusiastic that he had at least tried to agree to her._**

**_"Fine." He had huffed, brought the rim of the cup to his lips before taking a sip. Hermione watched him intently, her hands clasped together in hope._**

**_"It's actually not that bad, it's bitter... I like bitter." Draco set the cup down, completely oblivious to his over enthusiastic girlfriend almost ready to pounce at him and tackle him with kisses in the aftermath. _**

Hermione remembered everything like daylight, clear and transparent. She didn't know how much Draco remembered, if he even remembered that day in their time at Hogwarts.

"Oh." was all that Hermione said.

"So...how have you been?" he tried looking at her with a plain face thinking that it was most appropriate but he couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face at the sight of her. It was like a child had caught Santa Clause setting gifts under the big tree.

Soon, their teas came over and Hermione silently smiled when she say that he had ordered the exam same thing with the two cursed slices of lemon like he thought so in the past.

_Maybe he did grow to love them. _

"How's Demi?" Draco asked her, absent-mindedly stirring the liquid in the small cup. "I was hoping to see her today, shall I say." he spoke almost timidly. Hermione blushed, she should've brought Demi along, at least things wouldn't feel so awkward with her talking in the background.

"She's alright, still has that little bit of cold but yeah, she's progressing." Hermione bit her lip. She wasn't sure why she was feeling this way. This was Draco, she had known him her entire life, he had been utterly horrible to her in their start of school era but had changed drastically during their later years and she had watched him change, inside out, she had been there to witness it all. He had been the man she had first loved and had handed over her most prized possession to, he was the one she still loved to this day.

_For heaven's sake, they had a child together!_

"Listen, Hermione, I knew this feels really awkward and I won't try to hide the fact that I feel the same way," she sighed in relief, at least she wasn't the only person who was feeling like the elephant in the room. "And I really want to thank you for coming here today to see me, to be honest, I wasn't expecting you to show up. You had no reason to, I mean- you barely know me."

_Wrong, I've known you all my life,_ Hermione almost corrected him but stopped herself just in time.

"Thank you really, you have no idea how long I have been trying to find something to trigger my memory and then— I saw you that day and little Demi, I don't know, it just brought back a hurricane of jumbled memories. I didn't know which ones but they were there, all of them, they flashed before my eyes like lightening and— and I knew that I had to see you again." he rambled, Hermione caught his eyes, seeing confusion and desperation. She felt bad for hiding all this but there was simply no other way.

How could she tell him that she had made him this way? That she had rid him off from the joys of fatherhood? Of love? That she had pushed him away from herself to protect him because there was no other way he would've survived the Wizarding War?

"I'm making no sense, am I?" he chuckled sadly and Hermione forced herself to look at his hurt self.

Hermione didn't know what provoked her to do it but she did it anyway. Hesitantly, she put her hand on his on the table and gave it a gentle pat. "I... I understand."

When she pulled back her hand, an odd sensation settled within her stomach, she wanted to touch him again and by the looks of it, Draco had the same thing in mind.

_Too soon,_ Hermione told herself.

"Why did you lie to me about not seeing me before? I know you had seen me, I just don't know why you denied that." Draco asked her, pulling his hands in his lap.

Hermione visibly gulped, "My guess could've been wrong, you came upto me all of a sudden in the streets, I panicked." she hated lying to him, she really did but she couldn't tell him now.

"What about the second time? If it wasn't for your little slip up, I'm sure you would've never said anything." Draco indeed was, too clever for his own good. He knew how to push people's buttons and get the right information from them but thus was Hermione, the girl who saw right through him.

"I was in denial, I didn't think I could see you again. I told my mind that there was no way I could see you again after all those years-" she chose her words carefully, "Maybe I was thinking too much into things and your surname slipped, I'm sorry, it wasn't ethical of me to lie to you." she gave him a hopeful smile, "Yes, Draco, I do know you, I've known you all my life actually."

At that, his eyebrows shot up. Each and every word she said went right through his heart and made him extremely dizzy, like he couldn't stand on his own feet if he wanted to.

"How?" he croaked, eyes almost numb, "How do you know me, Hermione?"

She tried not to give away at the mention of her name on his lips, "We were friends, back in school." she supplied, catching his eye. She twirled a stray curl in between her fingers as she watched him intently.

"I don't— I don't remember, why don't I remember?" Draco raked a hand through his hair, he was talking to himself again, he had developed quite a habit of it actually back in their fifth year.

"It's a long and old story, I don't blame you. It will take time. I think--I think I should leave now, Demi is alone and I promsied her I'd return an hour. I'm sorry but I have to go." she smiled weakly at him. Turning around from him, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Let me drop you off, it's the least I can do for you, Hermione." his voice was strong and hoarse. The thought of getting such small information did make his brain crazy but it was a starter, and he was more than thankful for it.

When Hermione opened her mouth to object, he was quick to say, "Pelase, I insist." so Hermione just nodded. After Draco had paid their inexpensive bill, Hermione proceeded to tell him that he'd apartment wasn't far from here and that she could easily walk back but Draco, being the stubborn slytherin he was, still insisted.

"Well that's my stop," she motioned to the building of flats before her. It seemed homey, Draco thought.

"Thank you for everything again," both of them said in unison before breaking into a small laughter bubble.

"I guess I'll go then, take care Hermione." Draco was about to walk off when Hermione grabbed his hand and pulled him to face her. Brown met silver and then she spoke, "Feel free to come by any time, the doors are always open for you, old friend." she smiled at the last bit. There was no excuse in trying to act like a schoolgirl in love all over again, right?

Draco grinned at her and squeezed her hand a little, "I'll keep that in mind, thanks." and then, he was walking away from her.

The next time she'd see him was going to be better than this, she'd make sure of that.

**_**

**Hi hi hi hi,**

**I am so sorry for taking a month to update, I know it's been sooooo long! I'm just focusing more on my other book and I've not forgotten about this one, don't worry.**

** leave a vote if you likes it and a review nonetheless!**

**Till next time, love you all x**


	6. 5 hoping for you

Days came and went, four weeks turned into two full long months, the cold winter subsidized into fresh spring— things changed, but the love she had for the man in her heart never did.

If it were possible, it only grew.

Demi, Hermione and Draco— a broken family or not, still managed to get along perfectly well. It was like the instincts played matchmaker in their case, guiding each of the three to know how they feel and how this all was alright.

Draco had come over so many times by now that Hermione didn't even need to call Luna to babysit Demi when she went to work. Though she hadn't been going to the school much, considering the ruckus of life at the moment, but when she did, Draco was always there to look after Demi.

What better person to leave her daughter to then her own father? She didn't question him— why he didn't spend as much time with his fiancé as he should in the first place. Maybe she was beings selfish, but was it so wrong after the ten years she had waited? To see her daughter and the man she loved get along and be happy?

Hermione had found herself crying in the bathroom too many times to count now. It had become some sort of a daily ritual for her; she would see Draco almost every other day, talk to him like everything was perfectly okay, smiled at him timidly like any girl in love would, touch his hand one or two times and gaze at him like he was the only man in the world. All this was drowned the moment she retired to her small apartment and throw herself on the bed, smudging her mascara on the linen sheets and then, make her way to the bathroom, she'd sit at the edge of the bathtub with her head in her hands as she cried her eyes out.

Crying made her feel horrible but also, extremely light-headed, it was like an invisible weight had been lifted off her taut muscles. Strangely enough, crying after seeing him made perfect sense to her— it was the balance she strived for, the balance of probability our world worked upon. If seeing him in the day she had to cry in the evening to remind herself of how horrible she was being to him, then that was okay.

It was okay to be selfish, it was okay to want something for your benefit, it was okay to cause someone pain as long as your own heart was beautifully spasmodic.

It was okay.

It was all okay, she told herself over and over again. It was okay, it was all okay.

"Hermione?" and then, a hand was cupping her cheeks.

She had been so submerged into her thoughts that she didn't notice Draco inching forward to her face. His mouth was moving but Hermione couldn't hear him, he was inaudible. Her hands came up to her face but it never touched her own skin, instead, her fingers caressed his soft skin. She stood thunderstruck as slowly Draco urged his lips to hers.

He was getting closer, and closer, and closer until...

A pair of soft lips collided with her mouth.

"Draco," Hermione mumbled but he kissed her again, this time, pulling her closer by the waist. His index finger pushed the strap of her top down, silver pools asking for her permission just when she but her lip.

_Go on, I trust you with my life_.

"I love you and I'm sorry." she voided her mind the moment his lips latched onto her neck, making her purr in ecstasy.

"I love you and I'm sorry," she repeated, lifting her gaze to look at him in the eyes, it was only then, that she realised he wasn't there.

_Just like that,_ her eyes snapped open, her entrance broken and her heart broken all over again.

When the familiar surroundings of her craooy apartment settled down in her mind, Hermione screamed and she screamed like there was no tomorrow, screamed without a care of the world of anyone, even her daughter in the room next to hers.

"Mommy! Are you okay?" her little girl had tears in her eyes and she looked so worried; it was all her fault, all her fault. The tightening on her chest seemed never-ending, second by second, it felt like the blood was stopping within her veins and her body was turning blue.

"Draco," she whispered, shaking her head while her hands shielded her eyes, tears rolled down her cheeks like raindrops on a windowsill, creating absent mind patterns on her skin.

"Mum—"

"Draco," she whsioered again, latching onto her daughter and stifling her sobs.

"It's okay mommy, it's okay," the little girl cooed her mother, refusing to untangle her arms from around her. Maybe, just maybe, that wasn't what she wanted right now, but it was what she needed.

Hermione didn't remember the last time she had cried this much.

Even the time she had obiliviated Draco didn't come a fraction closer to the crying she out herself through this time.

Because this time, she was going to see him again and would have to pretend like the storm on her heart wasn't there.

_

"Are you sure you're fine?"

Hermione stopped pushing the food around in her plate. She lifted her gaze to look at the man before her. Handsome as ever, Draco Malfoy could pull over a trash bag over his body and still manage to look gorgeous, Hermione noted interestingly.

"For the last time Draco, I'm fine." she purposely said his name to give him the ultimate shutup call as if to say _please stop interrogating me already._

He didn't say anything for a full minute until...

"How's your work?" Hermione saw him push the pasta around in his plate too, so maybe she had been a little too rude. After all, he was just trying to be a nice friend.

"Huh?"

_Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

"Your work? Source of employment? Your source of income? That kinda stuff," what was meant to be clearly a joke, turned into a riddle for Hermione as she struggled to form a cohrernet sentence. The memory of last night's dream was still so vivid, so fresh in her mind that she had a heart time just speaking. Things didn't help when Draco called and asked her to lunch (as friends, of course) knowing that she couldn't be the same in his presence after the kiss they shared in her dream, she knew this was going to be a bad idea.

But this was Draco, if she was given even a single second to spend with him, she'd gladly take it regardless of the circumstances. It was like a burden on herself, knowing that she had to return the time they had missed together when she took his memories.

So here she was, in a small café in London as Draco Malfoy and her ate away their lunches as if they weren't lovers in a life parallel to this almost ten years ago.

Funny things, parallel universes. You would never know what was happening in the opposite side of the world— by the time a parallel universe's light would pass by our eyes, we'd already be asleep.

"Oh, yeah--uhm, it was fine." No, it wasn't, she was on the brink of getting fired from her job at the school. That's what happened when you didn't turn up to show your face at the place you worked at. Her life had been an emotional roller-coaster for what felt like months, how could she focusnon anything else except the man before her and the girl they had birthed together?

"Right." Draco abruptly stood up, grabbed her hand after placing a few money bills on the table. As he made a beeline towards the main door, Hermione allowed herself to relish the warmth and nostalgia that came just by touching her skin to his, it was like a fire in the jungle had been finally blessed with the calming rains.

Hermione didn't question him, all she did was remain silent as Draco dragged her out the main door and onto the sidewalk. They walked for almost five minutes in full silence until he finally took a right turn into an empty alley. Here, it seemed like all of London had disappeared compared to the hustling and bustling people outside. Draco still didn't say anything, just as he pushed her up against a wall, mainitaing a reasonable distance between them— not too close to make her uncomfortable and not too far to seek inattentive. His eyes looked guilty and his whole demeanor screamed worry.

"What are you hiding from me, Hermione?" he pushed a hand up against her side on the wall, eyes never leaving hers.

Hermione gulped, closing her eyes. "It's nothing Draco, please, just leave it." she didn't know how she found her voice to speak her mind but for some reason she did. She tried to push him away but he didn't even budge, in response, he only held her gaze longer.

"Draco please,"she hated being the weak, but there were times even when the lion loses his fright and gets cornered by hyenas.

She wished she could tell him— about Demi, about them, about taking his memories, about depriving him of fatherhood, of the love they had shared, of the memories they had made in secrecy, the nightmares she had had during the ten years she was away from him, the number of times she had called out his name in her sleep, the infinite number of times she had cried herself to sleep just thinking of him, the times she had screamed into oblivion because of being away from him— the times she had missed him.

_But how do you speak the things you've held captive in your heart for so long? What if you don't remember how to say all those things? What if your voice betrays you? What if your throat closes up on you every time you try to speak about your traumatic past? What if you were never really over the one person you had ever loved? _

"Did I do something?" his voice was a whisper, barely audible, but she hear it, heard it with her full mind. Hermione lifted her eyes to see him. Now, physically so close ,yet so far away in her heart, Draco looked at her with a mixture of sadness and pain. As if he really believed that he had done something.

_But how wrong he was._

_"It's me! I did something and I regret it so much, Draco! It's me! It's not you, no." _

"No, you didn't, it's just— I don't know how to say this. It's not like I don't want to tell you, believe me, you're my only...friend, but, I don't- I don't know _how_ to do it." Hermione almost fell her dignity return a little, at least she was able to speak something.

A minute of silence and then,

"That's sad," but his fingers came to touch her cheek, and his eyes looked into her own. A single finger was traced over her skin on the cheek cussing Hermione to close her eyes. She but her lip from screaming. Not only because what he was doing (absent-mindedly or not) still felt nice, but it brought back memories from when they were still lovesick teenagers back at Hogwarts.

"I'm sorry, I- I'll tell you if I know something mysel-" she rambled but he placed a hand to her mouth, silencing the woman before him.

"I said it's sad that you..." he brushed away a curl from her face, "That you still consider me just a friend." For a moment, Hermione stood shocked in her spot, maybe she hadn't heard him correct but when she saw the storm in his eyes, she knew that every word she had was true and not just a notehr dream.

"Draco, I—" but of course, words failed her, of course they did.

So they just stood there, in the middle of an empty alley in Muggle London, skin touching skin, eyes speaking, the thunder in their hearts never going down.

The cold wind blew past them, a reminder for the both— where there is dusk, there is dawn, just because you have had to face the dusk before, doesn't mean that the sun of the dawn won't shine on you again.

"But I—"

Words fell apart, and maybe, their worlds too.

But one thing was for certain; this time, she wasn't dreaming about Draco kissing her as she held onto the collar of his shirt for support.

_

**Hi, how late am I? Hope you've missed after you because omg, I'm crying after this? I have a class right after this so this is a little short, but like I said, so omg, hope you enjoyed it.**

**Leave a vote and a review!**

**All the love, me. **


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